Four Scrolls
by janecanblog
Summary: How do four scrolls tell the story of Draco's life and love?


**Title:** 4 Scrolls

**Author:** rockerchica826

**Disclaimer: **I don't own the characters, places or past events. JK Rowling is a goddess. If I had even a percentage of the talent she does, I wouldn't be writing fanfic.

**Fandom:** Harry Potter

**Pairing: **Harry/Draco

**Rating:** MA

**Warnings:** Character Death, M/M Sex

**Author Notes:** My first Epilogue Compliant fic. Kind of depressing…

From the back of the crowd I stare. Watching the people who loved you cry and hug and try to console each other. Your wife. Your kids, much older now than the last time I saw them. I think even the girl is married now. The entire Weasley clan is there, or what's left of them. Your two best friends and their daughter, _my _daughter in law. My son and my grandson. Everyone crying and remembering.

But my tears refuse to fall.

My son looks at me from his place near the coffin. His eyes tell me that he knows. He understands what kind of pain I am in. But he doesn't. No one does.

My wife stands beside me, holding my hand and slightly weeping. She knew you well enough. Our sons were good friends in school. Hogwarts. The place where it all started. And ended.

Your family is picking flowers from the top of your casket now. Bloody Muggle tradition. Your wife places her finger to her trembling lips and then to the casket with a sob. Your children follow suit, grabbing a flower as they step away.

I can feel the tears burning behind my eyes, but they still don't fall.

When the last of the relatives have paid their respects to your casket, the service is over. The crowd begins to thin and I see my son walking toward me with his wife and son in tow.

"Dad," he says softly holding his hand out to clasp mine gently. "They are going to leave the casket up for a few more minutes, if you want to pay your respects."

I swallow the sharp knife making it's way up my throat. "Thanks," I manage to choke out, squeezing my son's hand slightly. He nods in his understanding and turns to take my wife's hand and lead her back to the apparation point.

I nod my goodbyes and the four of them walk somberly away. There are still a few people left around the casket, but they are slowly trickling away.

I close my eyes to try and quell the pain, to force the tears to fall, but they don't.

Finally, the last of the people finish paying their respects and slowly walk away. Leaving me alone with your casket. With your dead body. With the memory of you.

Slowly I walk forward, clasping my hands together, searching for the right thing to say. It refuses to come to me, just as the tears refuse to fall.

I reach my hand out and pull a pristine white orchid from the bunch of flowers atop your casket. It's perfectly flawless. Completely and utterly everything that you weren't. I tear the offending flower in two and throw it on the ground. But the tears refuse to fall.

I place my clammy hands on the cold wood of the casket and breathe deep. "Why?" I ask aloud, hoping for an answer. But of course you won't answer me.

I will the tears to fall from my eyes, but they don't.

I reach into my pocket and pull out a scroll. The first owl that you sent me upon receiving news that our sons were fast becoming friends. It was a surprise when I received it, but my heart had beat in eager anticipation when sending my reply.

I open the letter and read it through one last time.

_Draco-_

_I'm sorry.  
I'm sorry for everything that we've ever done to each other. For not accepting your hand of friendship in first year. For hexing you in the bathroom in 6th year. For believing that you wanted to become a Death Eater. For thinking you wanted to kill Dumbledore. For taking your wand. But most of all for not apologizing sooner.  
Our kids have more sense than we ever did, not caring about house rivalries and family names. I'm glad that they are friends. That they were able to do what we never could.  
Will you go out to coffee with me next week?_

_-Harry_

The letter makes me smile. I remember the resulting day in the coffee shop. How nervous we both were. How awkwardly wonderful and liberating it had been. How at the end of the night we shook hands and planned to meet again soon.

That day seems so long ago now. When you were alive and happy and smiling back at me from across the table. Joking about our silly schoolboy rivalry and how I still haven't beat you in Quidditch.

Now I will never get the chance.

I roll up the scroll and place it among the flowers on your casket and try again to make the tears fall. But they won't.

I know you would call me a girl if you could speak. You'd tell me to buck up and get over it. No one lives forever.

I pull a second scroll from my pocket and open it slowly. It's the scroll that you sent me after our first kiss.

_Draco-_

_I hope all is well. I know Al and Scorp are studying hard for their OWLS right now. Maybe we should surprise them with something tasty when they're over._

_-Harry_

I cast the revealing spell and the parchment grows between the last lines. I reread the letter.

_Draco-_

_I hope all is well. I know Al and Scorp are studying hard for their OWLS right now. Maybe we should surprise them with something tasty when they're over._

_I'm glad you thought to cast the revealing charm on this. I couldn't risk anyone reading the rest of this and I figured my short but harmless tone would play to your interest.  
We really need to talk about what happened last night. I'm not going to lie and say that I didn't want it, because I know we both did. I just want to tell you that I've been thinking about wanting to kiss you since I can remember. Now that my fantasy has finally come true, I don't want to ever lose that.  
I may sound rash right now, but Draco, I think I need you.  
Please come to dinner with me Friday night._

_-Harry_

This note makes me smile too as I think about that Friday night. The first time we made love. The passion. The fierce need we both had for each other as we kissed and touched and sucked and fucked each other in that little hotel room all through the night. Not caring who was top or bottom as long as we were together. Our skin plastered in sweat and cum and hoping beyond hope that this wouldn't be just for the night. That we could be together. The two of us. Forever.

Of course nothing that good could ever last. We always knew that. However little we wanted to believe it. And so I roll up the scroll, not bothering to recast the concealment charm and I place it in the flowers atop your casket and close my eyes to the pain of it.

Again, the tears refuse to fall.

I have two more scrolls in my pocket. One that I need to keep for myself and one that you have never seen. But they both bring forth the same memory in my mind.

A week ago. Was it really only that long? After a torrid affair lasting years past when it should have. Our last night together. Our 7 year anniversary.

You came to me in that same hotel room as our first time. I had vanilla scented candles and pristine white orchids. You walked into the room and gasped at the beauty of it all. The dinner sitting at the transfigured table at the foot of the bed. My whole face lit up with desire as you kissed me.

We ate in near silence but that was what it should have been. Pointless chatter about our sons and our pasts had always been present in our meals.

Our meetings had always been sporadic. Never creating a pattern that our wives could detect. We never knew when the next time would be. When we would even be able to owl each other without repercussions. But there was nothing in the world that I could have wanted more than this. Being with you.

When we finished our dinner and desert, we continued our chatter, but moved it to the bed. I sat against the headboard with you between my legs, back pressed tightly against my chest. Comfortable. Perfect. Serene.

After a while of mindless chatter, I leaned down and kissed you on the cheek. A seemingly innocent gesture that caused you to immediately turn around and plunder my mouth with your strong tongue. Desperate.

I pulled back slightly to look into your clear green eyes and smiled. You were beautiful. Complicated and flawed and completely beautiful.

You begged me to make love to you that night. You told me you loved me and you needed me inside you. I should have known that something was wrong.

You cried that night. Tears streamed down your face as I pumped myself into you. My name vibrated past your lips as we came together and I devoured your mouth.

And when it was over, I slid myself out of you and laid on my back, my breath shaky and panting. As if on reflex, you curled against me, head on my chest, one leg wrapped around mine. We slipped silently into sleep with nothing but a few muttered cleaning spells and an I love you kiss goodnight. Everything was perfect.

When I woke up to a cold empty bed in the morning, a part of my heart broke in two.

_Draco-_

_I love you more than anything in the world. I want you to know that. Never forget it. No matter what happens.  
I'm afraid that I have to tell you the worst. I'm sorry for not telling you sooner. And I'm sorry for leaving you this morning. I just don't think I could handle seeing the look on your face.  
I'm dying Draco. I have cancer. It's a Muggle disease and completely inoperable. I've known for a while now, but they were still looking for ways to help. As of right now, they tell me I don't have much longer to live.  
I'm so sorry that I didn't tell you sooner Draco. I'm not afraid of dying. Only of losing you. I won't be able to see you for a few more weeks. I have a lot of tests coming up and I know that Ginny will be watching the mail. You should probably wait before Owling me back.  
I will be sad if I can't see you again, but at least I will have this perfect night to remember._

_I love you, Draco._

_-Harry_

I cried when I read that note. I was so upset that you thought you couldn't tell me you were suffering. But I obeyed your wishes and though I wrote the note before I left the hotel, I put a concealment charm on it and kept it in my pocket.

When my wife and I got the Owl saying that you had died only three days later, I didn't cry. I put my hand in my pocket and held on to the two notes in my pocket. Wishing I had only had the chance to give you mine before you left me for good.

A man is here now. He tells me that he has to lower your casket. He says that I don't have to leave and they won't be burying you fully until later tonight, but he has to lower the casket before he can leave. I tell him it's fine and he lowers you quickly into the hole.

As the man walks away, I stare at the deep hole in front of me. Your hole. Your grave. And finally, the tears begin to fall.

My head falls into my hands and I begin to sob. My throat aches in the need to scream at the top of my lungs. To curse you for this pain that you have put me through. But no sound escapes my mouth except for the muffled sharp intakes of breath.

There are so many questions I long to ask you. So many things I wish I could say. But I know that none of them will do you justice, so I just stand there, head in my hands, weeping for you.

When my sobs finally subside, I look down at your casket, deep in the earth and wipe the tears from my eyes. What we had was perfect, Harry, and I will never forget you.

I pull the fourth scroll from my pocket. The third scroll, my last letter from you, is the only one I refuse to part with. I keep it with me always, as a reminder of the time I spent with you. Of the love that we shared.

I open the fourth scroll and read it through once and wish that I had been able to send it to you. I smooth the scroll slightly with my hands and toss it into the hole, watching it float almost angelically down to your casket.

I kiss your cold headstone and softly shisper, "I love you, Harry" before walking to meet my family at the apparation spot. Leaving you with my note just as you left me with yours.

_Harry-_

_No matter what becomes of us in this life or the next, you will always be my one true love._

_I will never forget you._

_I love you, Harry._

_-Draco_


End file.
